Chrysanthemum Pronouns: They/She Location: Baltimore, MD Crag Snack: TWIX
Chrysethmum emerges from her van. She’s been travelling the road and met me in Colorado. We’ve exchanged messages through instagram and now we get to meet-up and climb together. The psych is high for me. Chrys is strong. I also will discover soon that she’s pretty brilliant too.
Chrys’ first time climbing outside was on the ropes at Rumney. She started climbing in Hanover, New Hampshire while attending Dartmouth. While studying sociology and philosophy, she met a climbing mentor named John who influenced how she views climbing. Chrys has a lot of admiration for her mentors and their approach to climbing has clearly impacted her growth. The climbers there are different and enjoy the solitude she says, “You’re just a nerd who spends a lot of time in the woods”. The gym she started in was a hub for everyone in the area, including Chrys, “ It was really humbling to be a part of,” she shares
“I’ve spent so much time sitting in front of these rocks… I actually know them really well.… they’ve witnessed a lot.” She laughs, “They’ve witnessed a lot of my failures.”
Chrys’ interaction with climbing might be characterized as an intimate and intense relationship. She describes it this way, “I’ve spent so much time sitting in front of these rocks, like years, just like staring at these rocks, and I actually know them really well. I know parts of them really well which is like really cool because they are really old… they’ve witnessed a lot.” She laughs, “They’ve witnessed a lot of my failures.” Climbing, for Chrys, is like that good friend who knows you better than you know yourself. So well, in fact, they can elicit the best parts of you. “The reason why it’s [climbing] so engaging is that I feel like I’m entirely in my body. It’s not something I’ve had for most of my life. That’s kind of what you lose when you’re socialized in a binary gender world and you’re non-binary or you’re trans. Or you’re a cis-black woman and that’s a feeling you’re just not allowed to have, being entirely.. in your body and that just being ok.” She shares, “…That’s what climbing has helped me with.”
“The way I feel when I’m climbing makes me want to let myself go entirely…”
When Chrys started climbing, she was really depressed. She explains further that the continual process of coming out and sharing who she is has been a process of regaining body awareness. Climbing, for her, has played a significant role in that awareness. For Chrys, climbing isn’t just about sending projects, it’s a lifestyle, “I love climbing…It means more to me as a practice than the activity itself.”
Her time meeting others in the climbing community has not come without its challenges, however. Although she enjoys the company at the gym, the community there often doesn’t understand her experience and therefore, the depth of the relationships is limited. She shared about the day after the Charleston Massacre and how there was no mention of the shooting among her peers. She explained further, “Conversations of social justice at the gym means engaging in conversations that white climbers can “jump in and out of” without the threat of loss of legal protections for civil rights for minorities and the trans community.” To show up in a space and be yourself without hesitation or fear is real freedom. It is what Brown Girls Climb and so many of our communities are advocating for because as great as climbing is, if it suppresses who we really are, how much good can it do in our lives? “The way I feel when I’m climbing makes me want to let myself go entirely, so when I can’t do that-it’s not that fun.”, says Chrys.
“The reason why it’s so engaging is that I feel like I’m entirely in my body. It’s not something I’ve had for most of my life. That’s kind of what you lose when you’re socialized in a binary gender world”
That day, Chrys and I met up with another friend and spent a few hours bouldering at Flagstaff in Boulder. Chrys’ energy is pretty contagious. Her presence can put you immediately at peace; it reminds you to focus, to stay calm and to be aware. This energy translates into her climbing. As physically capable Chrys is, her ability to stay present and calm was what was most astounding to me. We spent the rest of the afternoon drinking tea, eating samosas, and chatting about how climbing has enriched our lives. It’s always astounding to me how connected we really are. In a day where social media is our primary mode of communication, it is also the platform by which Brown Girls Climb was born and continues to grow. It is the hub to connect with people that we may not see at the gym or at the crag but can connect us to the very people we’ve been hoping to meet all of our lives, people that understand the complexity, frustration, and joy, of being a woman of color in this world.
Chrys is currently practicing law in Baltimore and helps advocate for LGBTQ youth, with specific focus on on juvenile delinquency defense and advocacy for incarcerated people. She recently was a guest at our Women’s BOLDer event celebrating the vast experiences of women in climbing. She is looking forward to climbing in the south east, and has hopes to attend the 2019 Color the Crag Climbing Festival.
Thank you Chrys for sharing your story and for continuing to stand up and speak out against injustice among the trans community. Thank you for your work to create a more equitable and inclusive climbing community.
Author: Bethany Lebewitz
